If you’re new to the hit show Game of Thrones, take heart: so am I! I came up with this handy guide for new viewers, as well as old viewers who also need help watching a television show.
–Game of Thrones is not for the faint of heart, so don’t let your grandpa watch. Also, it might remind him of his childhood and make him sad.
-There are a ton of names to keep up with during the show. If you feel lost about who a character is, relax; they’ll probably be dead in three minutes.
-Who’s that one character who has consensual sex with a non-sibling?
-Don’t you wish this guy was your dad?
–Game of Thrones features gratuitous, explicit violence. Make sure to send kids 10 and under out of the room if a scene has more than 3 liters of blood.
-If you think it’s a fun idea to take a drink of wine every time a character on the show does, beware: You’ll be dead in 22 minutes.
-There are a lot of awkward sex scenes in Game of Thrones, so if you have a teenage son, be sure to give him a few minutes of ‘jack time’ alone after the show.
-If you’re watching Game of Thrones at a friend’s house because you are too poor to have HBO, it is customary to bring them a roast goose and flagon of mead.
-Many think author George R.R. Martin is an elderly man, but he is in fact a 15-year old boy who writes the novels while his parents are asleep.
-SPOILER ALERT: Everyone dies at the end. Even you.